baby

remember when…the first time we kissed? the first time we held hands? the first time we madeout? how we used to play with our tongues everytime we kissed? the way you looked at me? the way you’d wrap your arms around my waist? the way we would tease each other? the way we were always smiling when we were together? how you’d pick me up so i’d kiss you first? ignoring the comments people made? when you told me that i could do anything? when you promised you wouldn’t hurt me or leave me? when you’d grab my butt when we were kissing & i never stopped you? when you asked me out & you were so nervous? when we were walking to the bus & you slipped? when we kissed like 2873958937 times before spring break because we didn’t wanna leave each other? when you told me i get more like you everyday? that time we talked on the phone about your granny & you were practically crying & it broke my heart? the way you made me feel? that time you wanted to go outside & i said it was cold so you said “i’ll hold you”? smackey lip? tongue sucky? when i was in your arms & everyone rushed over to take pictures? when i just layed my head on your shoulder & we stood there? when you’d go through my phone every morning & laugh at my texts about you? when my friends would watch us kiss & you’d get so annoyed? how we smiled at each other right when we were about to kiss? when your friends would throw stuff at us? when you’d whisper in my ear every single day how long it had been since we started dating? when you didn’t get me anything for valentines day & you felt so awful? the day i came back from vacation & you were so happy to see me? Yeah, remember when we were so happy and everything was absolutely perfect? We should go back to that.


What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you?

I read all these old posts about you & it breaks my heart. I had so much hope. You left. You promised. But you left. I’m so sorry I wasn’t good enough. I am so so sorry. I wish I could be what you want. But I need my bestfriend back. I need you. I can’t handle just saying “hey” to you in the hallway. Like we’re strangers, like we never meant anything to each other. You said no matter what, we’d be bestfriends even if we brokeup. But you don’t even talk to me. I tried so hard for you. I just wanted to be good enough, just once. But you left me when I needed you most. I spend everyday trying not to fall apart. This isn’t healthy. I sit there telling myself these terrible things over & over again so I’ll stop thinking about you. I’m literally begging you to come back. Be my friend. That’s what I need from you right now. I need you to be there for me. Show me that you care, please. I deserve that much.


You’re so fucking adorable :) Everytime I see you I just wanna wrap my arms around you & stay that way for a while. & the best part is, I get to call you MINE :) I’m finally happy.  And it feels wonderful. You make me smile the way no one else can. Everytime I’m with you, I forget about everyone & everything else. I hope you realize I’m probably going to fall in love with you. Just saying :) Don’t leave me please. You’re perfect ashgjfojifjdijsodk


I fucking hate being at home. I hate listening to my fucking asshole of a dad speak. I’m on my fucking period & I’m too fucking emotional for this shit. Hop off my dick.

I love it when you kiss me. But I feel like I’m waiting on something that’s never going to happen. Are we ever going to officially go out? I don’t want to get hurt. Just…don’t lead me on. I don’t know. I don’t know how to explain my feelings. I just know that I need you.


I’m sorry I’m a bitch sometimes. But it’s only because I’m scared of getting hurt. I’m sorry I’m hard to deal with. I’m sorry I getmad over little things,but it’s only because I care. I’m sorry that I worry so much about losing you,but it’s only because you mean so much to me. I’m so scared. I’m just scared that you’re gonna leave like everyone else. I’m scared that you’ll find someone better,prettier. Please don’t leave me. Don’t give up on me. I need you. Just trust me on one thing,okay? I will always be here. You are & always will be my bestfriend. No matter what. Just remember that I want you,& only you. There is no one else.

Nothing ever goes right :’(

You keep saying you won’t hurt me,so why am I crying? You’re acting weird & I’m starting to get sick of it. Just be up front with me instead of playing these stupid ass little games. Maybe I was right. Maybe it’s better if we just stay friends. I can’t get hurt that way</3


fuck my life. fuck happiness.

Why are you being such an asshole? I knew you’d get sick of me. I fucking knew it. I’ll always be here my fucking ass. I can’t lose you. I can’t. Please stop :’( I can’t do this :(


You make me so nervous :)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. SO FUCKING HAPPY! Hehe, I like you a lot :) But you already know that. :) I’m so happy you like me. I know I don’t always show it,but you have no idea how much you mean to me. YOU NEED TO FUCKING HUG ME THOUGH! Okay anyways, I really wanna kiss you. Haha. I missed this feeling so much<3 I really hope everything goes right. I’m scared that I’m going to mess it up. I’m scared that you won’t ask me out. I’m so scared of losing you. That’s like my biggest fear. & I keep overthinking everything, but like then I realize,I don’t have to act differently around you. You like me for who I am & that’s all that really matters. You’re still my bestfriend. & that’s the best part. It scares me how much I care about you. Yeah,we made a promise,but promises are bullshit /: No one ever follows through anyways. I hope you prove me wrong. Please be the guy that gets me to care again.


Holy fucking shit.

I just realized what today is. One year ago,you left. With no goodbye. & it’s kind of weird because I’ve had a terrible day. & I just looked at your facebook. What even. This is the last time I’ll write something about you. So there’s only one thing left to say……………………..GO FUCK YOURSELF :)